Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


In case you haven't noticed, the blog will be keeping SUMMER HOURS this summer.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

30 Best Blog Songs of All Time

Which is your favorite? Which have I egregiously overlooked? Let's have an unruly, heated comments debate!

30. Blog Me Amadeus – Falco

29. O-Blog-Di, O-Blog-Da — The Beatles

28. I’d Do Anything for My Blog (But I Won’t Do That) -- Meatloaf

27. We Didn’t Start the Blog — Bill Joel

26. She Blogs — Ricky Martin

25. Blog Eye Joe — Rednex

24. Sometimes When We Blog — Dan Hill

23. Rico Blogé — Gerardo

22. Greatest Blog of All — Whitney Houston

21. Let Her Blog — Hootie and the Blowfish

20. I Am Blog (Hear Me Blog) — Helen Reddy

19. Blogging on the Ceiling — Lionel Richie

18. Broken Blogs — Mr. Mister

17. Blogomo — The Beach Boys

16. I’m Too Sexy for My Blog — Right Said Fred

15. Blog Blog Baby — Vanilla Ice

14. Popoblogo — Kevin Federline

13. A Blog with No Name — America

12. Blog in Red — Chris DeBurgh

11. My Blog Will Go On — Céline Dion

10. Escape (The Blog Colada Song) — Rupert Holmes

9. (Everything I Blog) I Blog It for You — Bryan Adams

8. I Write the Blog(s) — Barry Manilow

7. I Am... I Blog — Neil Diamond

6. Oh! Susanna (Oh Don't You Blog for Me) — Stephen Foster

5. I Will Always Blog You — Whitney Houston

4. You Light Up My Blog — Debbie Boone

3. The Blog Is Mine — Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney

2. Your Blog Is a Wonderland — John Mayer

1. We Built This Blog — Starship

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Some valid excuses for blog absenteeism

I'm not saying that any of these happened to me, but maybe they did.


Paralyzed, and not yet having learned to use one of those mouth-controlled typing devices

Cat ate computer wires

Fell into weird hole in the ground

Away receiving Nobel Prize for Nanomolecularcryogastronomy for invention of Dippin' Dots, Ice Cream of the Future

Coxsackie virus (must include skin peeling off hands and therefore unable to type)

Off adopting Ethiopian baby again

Ate too many cookies


Krazy-Glu'ed all fingers to piece of wood

Lost vision in automatic-umbrella accident

Shoelaces caught in escalator teeth

Cat threw up into keyboard

In line at Duane Reade pharmacy counter

Kidnapped by robots

Stuck in tight top in dressing room at clothing store


Can't stop looking at cute pictures of baby animals

In sudoku tournament

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

it's the blog, stupid.

So I was having a little trouble remembering what is so great about having a blog. I know, I know...but it happens. Anyway, I searched on the INTERNET for other bloggers' takes on "the best thing about having a blog," for inspiration. Here's what they said:

From http://blogs.iona.com/newcomer/
Hi Olivier, Thanks very much for taking the time to comment. This is actually the best thing about having a blog. Thanks also for the compliment about our technology.
That is all very sweet and makes me proud to be a blogger.

From http://www.ramiz.learnerblogs.org/
Having a blog has been a whole new experience. The best thing about having a blog is being able to interact with people around the world and being able to see how the work that they do differs from ours.
Interesting. Maybe too interesting.

From http://www.nonprofitmarketingblog.com/
The best thing about having a blog is all the brilliant people who read it.
That may be. I think (s)he may be on to something.

From http://tootruthy.blogspot.com/
You know, the BEST thing about having a blog is that NOBODY even reads it! Do you know what kind of freedom that brings to Yours Truly?
Hmmm.... that may be too. I think Yours Truly may be on to something too.

From http://benjaminbirdie.com/
You want to know the secret best thing about having a blog? Throwing your Lord Julius cap into the ring for another scinitllating installment of Bahlactus.
Huh?? Huh??

From http://allthatcomeswithit.com/
Jason - Indeed, that’s the best thing about having a blog. Whenever anything bad happens you are pleased because now you have something to write about.
Somehow that one doesn't quite work here. And it sounds kind of jerky.

From http://100bloggers.blogspot.com/
How good it feels to write this into the void. How maybe that's what's the best thing about having a blog. I can write down my thoughts and share it with some people, people who don't know me, or know the situation. Who don't have a lot of opinions of who I am, and what I should be. Do not know the history or the people. I feel lighter. I think maybe I can refrain from calling him up and telling him that he makes it nearly impossible to be friends with because he can be so unlovable. He can be so brash and blunt. He has no softness that one can fall into.

From http://socko.blogspot.com/
The best thing about having a blog is seeing all the strange ways people find your site.
Really? That's the best thing??

From http://dead-babies.blogspot.com/
You know the best thing about having a Blog? it makes me realise how damn Senile I've become.
At first I thought "Senile" was some nationality I didn't know about or something.

From http://theist.wordpress.com/
The best thing about having a blog is that you have the capability to pursue tangents, thoughts, courses of logic, etc. to their fullest. However, a striking dichotomy exists in the blogosphere, wherein many individuals may follow this tendency, for a while, but ultimately, most fall off into mindless IM and email habits of short, stringy, half-answers. Impatience rules the day, and far less communication takes place than is necessary in order to properly debate or extrapolate on a given topic.
The best thing about having a blog is being able to tell this person to: shut up!! Shut up!!!

From http://www.highsnobiety.com/the_columns/village_slum/
Best thing about having a blog...well 2..
anyone can have one.
You can talk all the shit you want!
So yeah... shit talk time it is son!

Right on brotha! I think he's got it right on.

Friday, June 06, 2008

ASCII and ye shall receive

Some people have expressed that they've gotten a little bored with the logo, which, give me a break. But, since this is a famously super-democratic blog, I've decided to offer up a potential change to satisfy the dissenting faction. Here it is, up for discussion.

---------....-------:--+s/-....-:/doom:::+++od` :y--/hdh:----------------------
-------....----------:++----ooossodo/m:oh/++-s `:./y.--/------------------------

Wednesday, June 04, 2008


Another write-in nomination for mascot, this one from Halspuppet!
It's turning into some race.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

new technique

I've been learning all these new blogging terms, and here's the first one I'd like to try out:
Bloglet - A small blog entry, usually one or two sentences long.

Friday, May 30, 2008


So, it's exciting: we've got two more entries for possible mascot.
(Those that have already voted may vote again if they prefer one of the new entries. Those that have not yet voted are wasting their lives.)

Here they are!:

Thursday, May 29, 2008

dump site

There's a lot of blog guilt when you haven't posted for a day or two -- it starts hanging on you like a wet, dirty dog. Hooooowwwwwwwwwww.

The thing is, what's worse: not posting for a couple of days, or posting some lame desperation crap? There's so much meaningless nonsense out there, I don't know if I really want to be a part of that. It seems irresponsible. And everyone thinks that all this data is just infinite and that it's so great for everyone to be generating tons of their own junk and there's no limit, no problem, and no like floating garbage barge required to hold all this massive, growing mound of e-waste -- but are we so sure? How can we be so sure?

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


Did you notice that they've taken the "we" out of "blog"? No really -- as discussed earlier, "blog" is an abridgment of "web log," right? So there's no we in blog, man. No we.

Monday, May 26, 2008

have a blog and a smile

Even though it's Memorial Day, the blog is open for business! (For those not from the U.S., Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday wherein a small number of people commemorate Americans lost in military conflicts and a large number of people drive on highways, barbecue, and/or shop.)

A lot of people have been on me about the blog needing some kind of credo or mission statement. I thought about it for a while and I think I might agree. So I started brainstorming some possibilities, but I got all twisted up right out of the gate over what exactly it was I was trying to come up with -- is it a credo? A mission statement? A slogan? What the h*ll is the difference exactly? So, before we even consider having a vote, first we need to have a vote on what it is that we will be voting on. Here are the choices (with definitions and examples from The Internet). Which one do you think the blog should have??

credo: a system or codification of belief (often religious) or of opinion.
Example, the Raelians: We believe that human Creators from space used DNA to create Earth's human race and returned to present Rael with the world's most fearlessly individualistic philosophy of love, peace, and non-conformism -- a beautiful combination of spirituality, sensuality, and science.

mission statement: a summary describing the aims, values, and overall plan and/or purpose of an organization or individual.
Ex., Clean Furs plushies & furries chat board: We wish to establish a furry community that focuses on the fun and clean aspects of the furry fandom. We fursuit [sic] for fun and entertainment, collect plushies of our favorite characters, we enjoy furry art for what it is. Our community hopes to promote the furry fandom in a family-friendly light and allow the non-yiffy among us to discuss our fandom without the fear of the persecution that often follows the term 'furry.'

motto: a phrase meant to formally describe the general motivation or intention of a person, social group or organization. A motto may be in any language, but Latin is the most used.
Ex., www.plumbingsupply.com: Ave caesar! Morituri te salutamus! (Our motto! Under-promise and over-perform!)

slogan: 1. a distinctive cry, phrase, or motto of any party, group, manufacturer, or person; catchword or catch phrase. 2. a war cry or gathering cry, as formerly used among the Scottish clans.
Ex., The Journal of Chemical and Petroleum Engineering (translated from the Russian): Our slogan is to work better and to work more productively!

tag line: a phrase or catchword that becomes identified or associated with a person, group, product, etc., through repetition; a memorable phrase that will sum up the tone and premise of a brand or product.
Ex., Superman the Movie (1978): You'll Believe a Man Can Fly

Thursday, May 22, 2008

oh no it isn't!

You know how it seems like most people get really screwed up when they get a lot of fame and/or money...like all those stories they always have everywhere about sad lottery winner dudes eventually moving into their last surviving car all alone, and rich actress/singer types going bonkers and robbing fast-food drive-ins and all that? Well that is not going to happen to me from this blog.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I think this blog is eco-friendly. I was thinking about it -- about how the blog fits into the whole gas crisis and everything-else crisis -- and I think I just wanted to assure myself that, in fact, the blog is eco-friendly, and therefore good. So then I was thinking, Well how exactly does one qualify that? How do I define "eco-friendly"? And I really didn't know, so I looked it up on the Internet -- "define eco-friendly" -- and I got the creepiest blog hit! Check it out:

Nanotechnology should define eco-friendly principles.

Man. Well, I still think this blog is eco-friendly, maybe more so even. But I do think, like that dude, that we need to define nature friendliness in the [blog] before it goes into mass production. It's difficult to make changes after anything goes public at large scale. It's unstoppable. You can't change [blogs] after once you produce them.
Right on, blogging brother!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


I was thinking that maybe it's time to get a mascot? You know, for events and such. So I decided to check on Google Images to see if there was something good already out there under a search for "sunny head." Well, I got over 200 hits — for real! I've edited them down and present the best ones here for your review — let's have a vote and decide if any of them seem like a worthy new mascot.

great dog

fuzzy face


big sheep

historic woman



thinking person

disc head

demon guy


smiling dude



Monday, May 19, 2008


I'm wondering if there's anyone out there who can help with this: I'd really like to get the blog into 3-D. Don't you think that would be awesome?! I was thinking about the blog, and at first I was thinking that it WAS already in 3-D. You know? Like, as a whole, as an entity, the blog is in fact in 3-D. But then I was like, Duh, no it isn't. Then I was getting really confused trying to think about if it even is in 2-D. Is it? Of course it is, right? Somehow I just kind of lost the whole concept of -D and can't even think logically about whether the blog is even 2-D. But it must be, no? I mean, Jaws 1 and 2 were in 2-D, thereby creating the opportunity for Jaws 3 to be upgraded to 3-D, right? So the blog must be in 2-D. Right?

Friday, May 16, 2008


The persistent rain,
a woman runs for cover—
we are in the blog.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

exciting new products

So we've put together some prototypes of merchandise we're considering selling and would love any feedback on which you think might be winners. Thanks!



tote bag

throw pillow

nail tips

bowling ball

toilet seat



men's briefs

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

you know?

The thing is, the blog does not write itself. In that way it is a little disappointing. It almost seems like it should.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

you do the math

If you put "blog" into google, you get 3,790,000,000 hits. That's billion. If you put "god" in, you get 509,000,000.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

her heady nuns

I'm always mixing up acronym with anagram. I almost did yesterday, but then caught myself.

I think the only anagram of blog is glob. (Unless you count log b -- like, "Enter that data into log B.") But glob is a pretty good one anyway. I just got this sudden panic that maybe glob isn't even an actual word, but I looked it up and it is. "glob: 1. A small drop: GLOBULE. 2. A rounded, usu. large mass or lump [a glob of sticky dough]" It's weird how it means a small thing in one case and a large thing in the other. Get it straight! Anyway, I prefer definition 1 and in honor of it am going to pretend that blog is actually a shortened version of blogule.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Some Cute Usable Blog Acronyms

Even though the word blog is of course a shortened version of "web log" (right??), it would be fun if it actually were an acronym. It would seem kind of more space-age and nerdy/cool. Here are some possibilities for what it could be an anagram of, depending on your viewpoint. Feel free to send in others!

Beautiful Lines of Genius

Boring Loser's Online Grumblings

Bored? Look at Our Greatness!

Blathering Lame-O's Garbage

Baby Loves Our Gabbing

Before Long, One Gives up

Banter, Laughs, Opinions—Glory

Monday, May 05, 2008

el poste

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, today's post will be en español! We at the blog have recognized the importance of multilingual capabilities, especially in the ever-expanding global community of virtual globalizationism, and we are in fact scheduled for Spanish instruction starting in 2 weeks. Muy bueno! But that's in 2 weeks. For now, we are limited to some content that may not quite reach the intellectual level we have come to expect. Bear with us, por favor:

¡Buenos dias amigos! Me llamo Su Cabeza Asoleada. Hoy es Cinco de Mayo y tengo gusto del tacos! Donde está el bano? Estoy embromando -- un blog no necesita de baño! ¡Hahaha!¡!¡

Friday, May 02, 2008

blog 2.0

So I was thinking: it's not often that an un-retirement leads anywhere good. MJ, The Rocket, Tab Energy Drink, the new Lite Brite -- did they ever even come close to the original glory? Uh-uh. (No). And yet, knowing all that and feeling its grip like a low-expectationed parent, here we are.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

orange alert

With the repeated threats being made, the future of the blog is in jeopardy.

Monday, August 15, 2005

not so sunny

So today I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that said, "YOUR BLOG SUCKS." My god. What do I do?

Friday, August 12, 2005


I recently encountered the word "blogosphere" in a newspaper article, and I think it's worth discussing. How do we, as blogites, feel about the exploding use of the prefix? It's getting crazy. I think I might like it, but I'm not sure. I'm trying to think of what's likely to be next in order to better gauge how I might really feel about it. Some possibilities:

blogarithim: the exponentially growing groove a blogger gets into during a peak period.

blogorrhea: excessive, incoherent blogging.

blogbound: unable to move because of blogging (often as a result of blogorrhea).

bloghorn: 1. (blowing a ~) a means of alerting folks to an updated blog. 2. a blogger who won't shut up about their own blog.

inblognito: the state of concealing one's identity behind a blog.

blognizant: knowing one's blog—really knowing it.

blogtied: being physically or metaphorically tethered to a blog (aren't we all).

blog-wild: (going~) losing restraint and posting what might be regrettable.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

exclusive interview

There's been a lot of heated demand posted for the logo merchandise. Trust me, I know! But this is way beyond me. Hasn't anyone seen what happened to Jonathon on Bravo's Blow Dry when his product line went national? The hair suffered! Well, I won't have that. So we'll just all have to be patient.

In the meantime, here are some of the blog's most frequently asked questions, answered:

Q: What did you do before the blog?
Blog: It's hard to say.

Q: Describe yourself in one word.
B: Blog.

Q: That doesn't count. One other word.
B: Somewhat.

Q: Who are your early influences?
B: Huh?

Q: What do you hope to achieve?
B: I'm a doer, not a hoper.

Q: Why won't you give a concrete answer?
B: Ask a concrete question.

Q: What's your favorite food?
B: Garlic bread.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


I'm not sure if there are any movies that prominently feature blogs, like as an important plot point or almost character. There probably are some. But in any case, I think my blog would be pretty f*ing good in any movie. Just putting that OUT THERE.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

big gloves to fill

I'm thinking of getting a special pair of gloves to wear just for blogging. I think somewhat tight, white gloves... probably of a nylon-type fiber. I'd put these on, probably from out of some special case, and then my hands would know without my conscious brain even telling them that it was time to blog. I feel like maybe that would allow for some real channelling. And it has just such an intensity about it, I think. Everything that people do really well, that takes a lot of skill, expertise, etc., involves special gloves: surgery, golf, horticulture, falconry, astronaut work, etc. Doesn't that make you wonder? It makes me wonder why I'm not wearing any special gloves for anything, and wonder if other bloggers are.

Monday, August 08, 2005

not dead

A number of people have expressed concern that I must be dead, as there have been no blog posts for a couple of days. This got me thinking: If I were dead, what would happen to my blog? Should I have a will leaving it in someone's capable hands? Or should it just die with me? I guess this is one of those tough questions that every blogger has to think about.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

another song submission

This one just came in! Keep 'em coming!

From Anonymous (Christine):

B is for the beauty of the written word
L is for the spoken voice which is never heard
O is what you'll say when you get to read
G is for the girlfriend you no longer need...
When you have a Blog! Blog! Blog! Blog!

song submission

Anyone Can Have a Blog
Words and Music by Bloghead

Destiny, destiny protect me from the world.
Destiny, hold my hand, protect me from the world.
Here we are with our running and confusion,
and I don't see no confusion anywhere.

And if the world does turn and if London burns,
I'll be standing on the beach writing my blog.
I want to be in a blog when I get to heaven,
anyone can have a blog and they won't be a nothing any more.

Grow my hair, grow my hair, I am Jim Morrison,
grow my hair, I wanna be, wanna be, wanna be Jim Morrison.
Here we are with our running and confusion,
and I don't see no confusion anywhere.

And if the world does turn and if London burns,
I'll be standing on the beach writing my blog.
I want to be in a blog when I get to heaven,
anyone can have a blog and they won't be a nothing any more.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

for sale

I'm thinking an important thing to start with, in terms of merchandising the blog, is getting one of those colored rubber wrist band jobs that are all the rage now. People really seem to go for those!I'm not sure if it's a requirement of having those produced that you have some kind of charitable affiliation. Hopefully not. The obvious question, then, becomes, what color? Yellow is taken, of course, by that french bike guy. I don't know what the other colors are about, but it seems like they're pretty much all claimed by one sad case or another. Jesus. If I could invent a new color, I would. I'd call it "blog," and have those wristbands made in it.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

tomorrow is today's yesterday's today

Now that the excitement is starting to die down over the latest achievements, it seems like a good time to look forward and think about what should be accomplished in the coming days. I think brainstorming is the way to go, so here y'are, raw and unmarinated, in no particular order:

theme song (perhaps a contest? not sure i can let go of that much control, but worth considering)

redesign (perhaps a bit of sparkle)

merchandising (duh)

style guide (tedious but necessary for full legitimacy)

press page (inevitable)

There's so much to do, but one thing at a time, as they say, and away you go. Remember: Dreams are not born from idle birds. Slow and steady keeps the boat from rocking the cat's canary. Rome wasn't built of fool's money but sticks and stones. Patience makes little pitchers half full.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

early returns

As expected the response over the new logo is extraordinary. I'll give myself a much needed break and let a randomly selected sample of the people speak for themselves.

From Hal, in Holbrook, NY:
Holy cr#p! That blogo rocks the gigasphere! Blog on, sister!

From simonsaysmeow, in Fort Pierce, FL:
My expectations were perhaps unfairly high, I must say, considering all that's come before. And yet I was blown out of my unbelievably uncomfortable IKEA desk chair.

From Dak2786, in Bennington, VT:
There's so much going on there - intellectually, philosophically, artistically, and of course, politically - I'm exhausted. And I mean that in the most fantastic way.

From blackblackblack666, in Desperation Falls, Montana:
Thank you. Thank you.

From lovesdippindots, location not given:
If there was ever a day to wear my Bloggers Do It Sitting Down
T-Shirt with chest-pounding pride, this is it.

Blogites, this is what I'm talking about.

Friday, July 29, 2005


Well, it's been a long time coming, over countless late nights with only Hostess cupcakes, milk, and Excedrin to keep things going, and the tensest of conference calls, but at last the dream is realized. The brightest brains in the branding business have come through once again with another significant cultural contribution, and for us! here! at what we like to ironically call the little blog.


Today is not a good day here at the blog. I considered taking the day off... tried to convince myself that would be OK... but my sense of duty got the best of me. So here I am, blogging away. It's like the blood is being drained from my body to feed the hungry masses. It's my curse, and my destiny.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

It's weird.

It's as I'd feared; things are getting big. Since yesterday I've received more than 10,000 emails pointing out my misspelling of the word weird. Am I going to have to get a staff? I don't know if I have the budget for that, and I'm not sure how it would impact the important blog solo vibe. My god.

The thing is, too, that I always misspell the word weird. It's like my nemesis word, and I just can't understand it. I could actually look it up in the dictionary, and then 5 seconds later spell it wrong again. My brain rejects the correct spelling, I don't know why. So please, kind friends, no more emails about wierd.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


I'm kind of stressed out about my blog. It's just on the edge of really catching on—you know, really exploding. I'm not sure I'll be able to handle that kind of pressure. Even though it's my blog, it feels like it's me. I never thought I would feel this way. I thought I could really hide behind my blog.
It's wierd how wrong you can be.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

help wanted

Pub quiz player for Yoshi and the Pussycats. Must be smart, entertaining, and drink. First and third mondays of the month, 8:30-12, Brooklyn. No pay (unless we win). Some history, sports, politics knowledge preferred. Karaoke talent a plus. Not too creepy a big plus. Please submit something; only those candidates in serious contention will be contacted.