Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Some valid excuses for blog absenteeism

I'm not saying that any of these happened to me, but maybe they did.


Incarcerated/institutionalized/incinerated/interred

Paralyzed, and not yet having learned to use one of those mouth-controlled typing devices

Cat ate computer wires

Fell into weird hole in the ground

Away receiving Nobel Prize for Nanomolecularcryogastronomy for invention of Dippin' Dots, Ice Cream of the Future

Coxsackie virus (must include skin peeling off hands and therefore unable to type)

Off adopting Ethiopian baby again

Ate too many cookies

Shipwrecked

Krazy-Glu'ed all fingers to piece of wood

Lost vision in automatic-umbrella accident

Shoelaces caught in escalator teeth

Cat threw up into keyboard

In line at Duane Reade pharmacy counter

Kidnapped by robots

Stuck in tight top in dressing room at clothing store

Storm-chasing

Can't stop looking at cute pictures of baby animals

In sudoku tournament

5 comments:

ana dane said...

wait a second. that dressing room scenario sounds a little too familiar.

it's no joke, let me tell you. who wants to shell out $500 for a ripped top?

christine said...

What kind of wood? That sounds filthy.

ana dane said...

don't worry, marva. with a little lotion, you can loosen those krazy-glued-to-wood fingers right up.

Anonymous said...
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Dr. Zizmor said...

Here are some good excuses. Do I need to mention treatment for all of these services are offered in my state of the art dermatological practice in a very fancy shag carpeted office on 5th avenue in New York City?

-Stuck behind the laser cannon for tattoo removal

-Trying to make a Microdermabrasion micra

-Attempting to remove a birthmark via time travel (pre-birth correction)

-Anal Warts

-Fissures

BTW, from your picture it looks like you are getting quite a bit of sun exposure. I would recommend a fruit wad chemical peel. Come by my office anytime. Remember all patients see Dr. Z. !