I'm not saying that any of these happened to me, but maybe they did.
Incarcerated/institutionalized/incinerated/interred
Paralyzed, and not yet having learned to use one of those mouth-controlled typing devices
Cat ate computer wires
Fell into weird hole in the ground
Away receiving Nobel Prize for Nanomolecularcryogastronomy for invention of Dippin' Dots, Ice Cream of the Future
Coxsackie virus (must include skin peeling off hands and therefore unable to type)
Off adopting Ethiopian baby again
Ate too many cookies
Shipwrecked
Krazy-Glu'ed all fingers to piece of wood
Lost vision in automatic-umbrella accident
Shoelaces caught in escalator teeth
Cat threw up into keyboard
In line at Duane Reade pharmacy counter
Kidnapped by robots
Stuck in tight top in dressing room at clothing store
Storm-chasing
Can't stop looking at cute pictures of baby animals
In sudoku tournament
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5 comments:
wait a second. that dressing room scenario sounds a little too familiar.
it's no joke, let me tell you. who wants to shell out $500 for a ripped top?
What kind of wood? That sounds filthy.
don't worry, marva. with a little lotion, you can loosen those krazy-glued-to-wood fingers right up.
Here are some good excuses. Do I need to mention treatment for all of these services are offered in my state of the art dermatological practice in a very fancy shag carpeted office on 5th avenue in New York City?
-Stuck behind the laser cannon for tattoo removal
-Trying to make a Microdermabrasion micra
-Attempting to remove a birthmark via time travel (pre-birth correction)
-Anal Warts
-Fissures
BTW, from your picture it looks like you are getting quite a bit of sun exposure. I would recommend a fruit wad chemical peel. Come by my office anytime. Remember all patients see Dr. Z. !
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