orange alert

With the repeated threats being made, the future of the blog is in jeopardy.

not so sunny

So today I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that said, "YOUR BLOG SUCKS." My god. What do I do?

blogistics

I recently encountered the word "blogosphere" in a newspaper article, and I think it's worth discussing. How do we, as blogites, feel about the exploding use of the prefix? It's getting crazy. I think I might like it, but I'm not sure. I'm trying to think of what's likely to be next in order to better gauge how I might really feel about it. Some possibilities:

blogarithim: the exponentially growing groove a blogger gets into during a peak period.

blogorrhea: excessive, incoherent blogging.

blogbound: unable to move because of blogging (often as a result of blogorrhea).

bloghorn: 1. (blowing a ~) a means of alerting folks to an updated blog. 2. a blogger who won't shut up about their own blog.

inblognito: the state of concealing one's identity behind a blog.

blognizant: knowing one's blog—really knowing it.

blogtied: being physically or metaphorically tethered to a blog (aren't we all).

blog-wild: (going~) losing restraint and posting what might be regrettable.

exclusive interview

There's been a lot of heated demand posted for the logo merchandise. Trust me, I know! But this is way beyond me. Hasn't anyone seen what happened to Jonathon on Bravo's Blow Dry when his product line went national? The hair suffered! Well, I won't have that. So we'll just all have to be patient.

In the meantime, here are some of the blog's most frequently asked questions, answered:

Q: What did you do before the blog?
Blog: It's hard to say.

Q: Describe yourself in one word.
B: Blog.

Q: That doesn't count. One other word.
B: Somewhat.

Q: Who are your early influences?
B: Huh?

Q: What do you hope to achieve?
B: I'm a doer, not a hoper.

Q: Why won't you give a concrete answer?
B: Ask a concrete question.

Q: What's your favorite food?
B: Garlic bread.

blogcast

I'm not sure if there are any movies that prominently feature blogs, like as an important plot point or almost character. There probably are some. But in any case, I think my blog would be pretty f*ing good in any movie. Just putting that OUT THERE.

big gloves to fill

I'm thinking of getting a special pair of gloves to wear just for blogging. I think somewhat tight, white gloves... probably of a nylon-type fiber. I'd put these on, probably from out of some special case, and then my hands would know without my conscious brain even telling them that it was time to blog. I feel like maybe that would allow for some real channelling. And it has just such an intensity about it, I think. Everything that people do really well, that takes a lot of skill, expertise, etc., involves special gloves: surgery, golf, horticulture, falconry, astronaut work, etc. Doesn't that make you wonder? It makes me wonder why I'm not wearing any special gloves for anything, and wonder if other bloggers are.

not dead

A number of people have expressed concern that I must be dead, as there have been no blog posts for a couple of days. This got me thinking: If I were dead, what would happen to my blog? Should I have a will leaving it in someone's capable hands? Or should it just die with me? I guess this is one of those tough questions that every blogger has to think about.

another song submission

This one just came in! Keep 'em coming!

From Anonymous (Christine):

B-L-O-G
B-L-O-G
B is for the beauty of the written word
L is for the spoken voice which is never heard
O is what you'll say when you get to read
G is for the girlfriend you no longer need...
When you have a Blog! Blog! Blog! Blog!

song submission

Anyone Can Have a Blog
Words and Music by Bloghead

Destiny, destiny protect me from the world.
Destiny, hold my hand, protect me from the world.
Here we are with our running and confusion,
and I don't see no confusion anywhere.

And if the world does turn and if London burns,
I'll be standing on the beach writing my blog.
I want to be in a blog when I get to heaven,
anyone can have a blog and they won't be a nothing any more.

Grow my hair, grow my hair, I am Jim Morrison,
grow my hair, I wanna be, wanna be, wanna be Jim Morrison.
Here we are with our running and confusion,
and I don't see no confusion anywhere.

And if the world does turn and if London burns,
I'll be standing on the beach writing my blog.
I want to be in a blog when I get to heaven,
anyone can have a blog and they won't be a nothing any more.

for sale

I'm thinking an important thing to start with, in terms of merchandising the blog, is getting one of those colored rubber wrist band jobs that are all the rage now. People really seem to go for those!I'm not sure if it's a requirement of having those produced that you have some kind of charitable affiliation. Hopefully not. The obvious question, then, becomes, what color? Yellow is taken, of course, by that french bike guy. I don't know what the other colors are about, but it seems like they're pretty much all claimed by one sad case or another. Jesus. If I could invent a new color, I would. I'd call it "blog," and have those wristbands made in it.

tomorrow is today's yesterday's today

Now that the excitement is starting to die down over the latest achievements, it seems like a good time to look forward and think about what should be accomplished in the coming days. I think brainstorming is the way to go, so here y'are, raw and unmarinated, in no particular order:

theme song (perhaps a contest? not sure i can let go of that much control, but worth considering)

redesign (perhaps a bit of sparkle)

merchandising (duh)

style guide (tedious but necessary for full legitimacy)

press page (inevitable)

There's so much to do, but one thing at a time, as they say, and away you go. Remember: Dreams are not born from idle birds. Slow and steady keeps the boat from rocking the cat's canary. Rome wasn't built of fool's money but sticks and stones. Patience makes little pitchers half full.

early returns

As expected the response over the new logo is extraordinary. I'll give myself a much needed break and let a randomly selected sample of the people speak for themselves.


From Hal, in Holbrook, NY:
Holy cr#p! That blogo rocks the gigasphere! Blog on, sister!

From simonsaysmeow, in Fort Pierce, FL:
My expectations were perhaps unfairly high, I must say, considering all that's come before. And yet I was blown out of my unbelievably uncomfortable IKEA desk chair.

From Dak2786, in Bennington, VT:
There's so much going on there - intellectually, philosophically, artistically, and of course, politically - I'm exhausted. And I mean that in the most fantastic way.

From blackblackblack666, in Desperation Falls, Montana:
Thank you. Thank you.

From lovesdippindots, location not given:
If there was ever a day to wear my Bloggers Do It Sitting Down
T-Shirt with chest-pounding pride, this is it.


Blogites, this is what I'm talking about.

Logo

Well, it's been a long time coming, over countless late nights with only Hostess cupcakes, milk, and Excedrin to keep things going, and the tensest of conference calls, but at last the dream is realized. The brightest brains in the branding business have come through once again with another significant cultural contribution, and for us! here! at what we like to ironically call the little blog.

Take!

Today is not a good day here at the blog. I considered taking the day off... tried to convince myself that would be OK... but my sense of duty got the best of me. So here I am, blogging away. It's like the blood is being drained from my body to feed the hungry masses. It's my curse, and my destiny.

It's weird.

It's as I'd feared; things are getting big. Since yesterday I've received more than 10,000 emails pointing out my misspelling of the word weird. Am I going to have to get a staff? I don't know if I have the budget for that, and I'm not sure how it would impact the important blog solo vibe. My god.

The thing is, too, that I always misspell the word weird. It's like my nemesis word, and I just can't understand it. I could actually look it up in the dictionary, and then 5 seconds later spell it wrong again. My brain rejects the correct spelling, I don't know why. So please, kind friends, no more emails about wierd.

blogophobia

I'm kind of stressed out about my blog. It's just on the edge of really catching on—you know, really exploding. I'm not sure I'll be able to handle that kind of pressure. Even though it's my blog, it feels like it's me. I never thought I would feel this way. I thought I could really hide behind my blog.
It's wierd how wrong you can be.

help wanted

Pub quiz player for Yoshi and the Pussycats. Must be smart, entertaining, and drink. First and third mondays of the month, 8:30-12, Brooklyn. No pay (unless we win). Some history, sports, politics knowledge preferred. Karaoke talent a plus. Not too creepy a big plus. Please submit something; only those candidates in serious contention will be contacted.